Anything Can Be Repaired

In April 2018 my husband and I launched an Airbnb house. As a first time Airbnb host, we quickly figured out what it took to create a positive experience for our guests. Thus far, we have had 58 bookings, with guests visiting our town from all over the United States, Europe and as far away as China.

It has been a very positive experience for us. Of course, there were a few guests who we wished had booked at a different place. For example, we had one family whose infant was allowed to urinate on our sofa, and the parents flipped over the cushion hoping we wouldn’t notice. Or that same guest who shaved his red beard in our sink, leaving the hair clippings all over the bathroom. Or the guest who toweled off her hair which she had dyed bright blue and purple, leaving permanent stains on our plush white bath towels. Or the guest who chipped our enamel bathtub and then claimed it was like that when they arrived. I’m not complaining (or am I?). This is just part of the experience in hospitality. It makes me think more carefully about how I leave the room when I check out of a hotel. But I’m still bothered by the lack of consideration, accountability, and the damage that some people cause without taking personal responsibility.

But then my husband reminds me, “Anything can be repaired.” And he really believes it. Byron is gifted with do-it-yourself, handy man genes. He is incredibly useful and has saved us unbelievable amounts of money on home repair jobs.

Attitude is Everything

What a wonderful attitude and empowering belief that you believe you could repair or fix just about anything. It opens up so many possibilities. The results of approaching life like this might include reduction in landfill (e.g., broken consumer goods that no one takes the time to repair; just dump it and replace it). Parents would be modeling and teaching their children valuable life skills like do-it-yourself home repair. You could save money with this attitude. And you would have a lifetime of cool projects on your personal honey-do-list or project list.

I appreciate that not everyone has the do-it-yourself skill or interest. And yes, power tools can be intimidating to use (note: my friends at Stanley Black & Decker can help you overcome that fear). But what about other things that need fixing and repairing, like damaged relationships, and shredded self-esteem? Once damaged, can these things be repaired, or are they destined to be thrown out with the trash?

Which Got Me Wondering…

When I hear others or myself use words like “anything” or “everyone” or “always” or even “never” in a declarative statement, I am immediately suspicious. There are always exceptions to that rule. (I just noticed I used the word “always” in that last sentence. Hmmm…) So I wondered how one might go about repairing any of these situations:


  • Strained family relationships
  • Negative first impressions
  • Betrayal and broken trust of a close friend or loved one
  • Backstabbing by a colleague
  • Injustice
  • Lawsuits
  • Bullying by school mates
  • Rape, sexual assault or harassment by a person in power (#MeToo movement)
  • Domestic violence
  • Ugly divorce
  • Kids who won’t talk to you or blame you for everything that’s gone wrong in their lives
  • Damaged professional reputation
  • Being fired from your job for cause or for no reason
  • Being incarcerated


Okay, I’m getting pretty dark here. But these are real situations that many of us have had to face in our lifetimes. Recovering from these situations–repairing ourselves, if you will–can take years.

So what can we do, as individuals, to repair ourselves when we are damaged?

We Can Emerge

I’m blessed to know and work with an inspiring and talented leader, speaker and author, Maureen Ross Gemme. Just being in her presence for thirty minutes is enough to brighten my day. Maureen and I have traveled together, co-facilitating training courses with corporate clients on important topics such as communication efficiency, and building productive relationships. On those business trips she confidently shared aspects of her life, including her personal story of addiction recovery. She has just released a new book called Emerge: 7 Steps to transformation (no matter what life throws at you), published by Flower of Life Press.

In this powerful little book, Maureen points out the simple truth that we are not tied to our pasts and that we can change our beliefs to better support the life we want to live. “A belief,” she says, “is simply a thought that you think over and over again. It can be changed.”

In the book is a compelling story of two brothers, Tony and Carl, who endured a hellish upbringing by an abusive father. Guess how their lives turned out? I won’t spoil the surprise (you’ll have to buy and read the book for that), but the story demonstrates an important principle of living: “In this life, you get to choose. You alone are responsible for your choices.”

Let Go of Resentments

Holding a grudge is one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves. It forces us to stay in a negative space, replaying the original injury or insult over and over again, causing more and more damage to the psyche. I believe that hanging on to resentment has long term, cumulative, negative impact.

Often times the people who have hurt us have already moved on with their lives, forgetting the incident altogether. Meanwhile we are stewing over it for days, weeks, years. So how do we repair that situation? We let it go. We forget and forgive. And this simple act of letting go, allows us to release the grip it has over us. We can breathe again. We are lighter, less stressed, more open and free. Letting go indeed has many physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits. And it is all in our control. We can repair ourselves in this way.

The Power of Forgiveness

I just got off the phone with Maureen to better understand her take on how forgiveness works. She reminded me that “forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.”

I shared details with Maureen about my difficult parenting experience and the heart-breaking disruption of our twin sons who we adopted from the foster care system when they were nine years old. Some of you know this story–how our family was torn apart by a set of circumstances that no one could control. They were the most difficult years of my life–even more difficult than going through ovarian cancer. I remember searching for peace and forgiveness. I wanted to know the strategy and steps behind forgiveness. How did it work exactly? I kept asking people, “How do you do forgiveness? What’s the magic formula?” Forgiveness seemed elusive to me at that desperate time in my life, when I was so full of fear, sadness, anger and resentment.

At one magical moment, one of our twins dropped by our house, after not speaking to us for four years. He told us he had joined the military and was being deployed overseas. We invited him in for coffee and conversation. It was the most amazing experience. A moment of grace and closure. I was able to tell him that I was sorry that I hadn’t been the mother and person he needed me to be at that time in his life; I was sorry our family had broken apart; and that I loved him and wanted the very best for him now and in the future. He told me that I didn’t need to apologize; that it was all in the past. He had forgotten about it. But I told him that I needed to tell him how I was feeling. I needed to ask for his forgiveness, and to forgive myself. And so it was done. The air was cleared. When he left the house, he promised to stay in touch. We haven’t heard from him since that special night. But it’s okay. I found the forgiveness I was seeking. I feel at peace about that experience. And that is how I came to heal myself, to repair my broken heart.

In Maureen’s book, Emerge, she provides an important perspective on the impact that forgiveness can have on your life and future:

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean you approve, need to forget, or that you need to accept that person back in our life. Forgiveness just means you won’t let the power of that experience hurt you anymore. It’s in the PAST! Gone. Finished. Released. You will now free up your energy and grow spiritually. More doors and opportunities will open for you.”

Do You Have the Courage to Apologize?

While it may feel really vulnerable and risky to apologize–to acknowledge your mistakes and wrongdoing–it’s also incredibly empowering to do so. It shows great character and personal strength. It helps to repair, reset and restore important relationships.

I fear that the humility and self-awareness required to apologize with sincerity is sorely lacking in many of our leaders these days. We see our political leaders modeling behavior and strategies that are more akin to a strategy I refer to as “Deny-distract-attack; Blame-lie-sue.” Wouldn’t it just be simpler, cleaner and more human to say, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Please forgive me.”?

Maureen believes that when we apologize to someone, we need to stay focused on what we did. We must admit our part of it and stay focused there. Don’t remind them of what they did to trigger you or caused you to behave in an inappropriate way. She said it like cleaning up your side of the street. Once you are done, don’t go to your neighbor and say, “Heh, your side looks like crap.” Apologizing is a way of taking personal responsibility for your life and actions. As Maureen says, it helps you “own your own shit.” (That’s one of my favorite expressions, crude as it may be!) Apologizing help us cleanse away emotional blocks. Apologizing is part of letting go and moving on. In our roles as parents, co-workers, friends, spouses, neighbors, and citizens, Maureen encourages all of us to model apologizing and make it a normal part of interacting with other people.

According to the team at MindTools, apologizing is the ability to ask for forgiveness gracefully. “It isn’t always easy to apologize, but it’s the most effective way to restore trust and balance in a relationship, when you’ve done something wrong.”

Watch this helpful video on the four steps they outline for an effective apologies:

The four steps seem pretty simple at first, but they’ll take practice and getting used to in order to add them to your communication skill set.

1. Express remorse.
2. Admit responsibility.
3. Make amends.
4. Promise that it won’t happen again.

The MindTools team offers a helpful tip if you’re concerned that your words won’t come out right when you apologize. “Write down what you want to say, and then role-play the conversation with a trusted friend or colleague. However, don’t practice so much that your apology sounds rehearsed. Read their full article How to Apologize: Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully

When All Else Fails, Laugh

My final tip to help you repair the more challenging things in your life is to remember that laughter has tremendous healing power. Not laughing at other people, but laughing at yourself and the ridiculous ways in which our minds get twisted and tangled in negativity and unproductive ways. Laughter helps to reset the brain, shifts our physiology, and alters the chemicals in our bodies. Laughter helps us to feel better. Maybe that’s why I just love this photo that I found of Maureen Ross Gemme online. You can just feel the joy, delight, and freedom that she has created in her life. If it works for her, maybe it will work for you? You get to decide.


“You are the leader of your life and by stepping up and challenging yourself to get to the next level you can make the world a better place.”
~ Maureen Ross Gemme



Learn more about Maureen at her website EmergeLeadershipAcademy.com 

Why Vulnerability Matters

By Kathy McAfee • October 16, 2025
In 2010 we fell in love with the concepts of Vulnerability and Authenticity. It all started when Brene Brown took the stage at her first TED talk The Power of Vulnerability and dazzled us with her…vulnerability. Her TED talk is still one of the most viewed videos on TED.com of all time, with more than 69 million views (as of this writing). The invincible Brene had a lot to say about Vulnerability, and her research and science backed it up. She offered us a pathway to living a more wholehearted life. She said in one of her many books, "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." Brene describes vulnerability as the birthplace of connection, love, and joy, but also the core of fear and uncertainty. She emphasizes that true courage comes from being vulnerable enough to show up and be authentic, rather than hiding behind armor. Indeed, Brene opened our hearts and minds of millions of people about this often-misunderstood leadership attribute: Vulnerability. She encouraged us to be courageous and take the risk of being vulnerable and authentically ourselves. Sounds easy enough but turns out it's pretty challenging. Vulnerability Enhances Relationships Inherently we know vulnerability is essential for close relationships. And most of us want close relationships - in our personal life, professional life, civic life, neighborhood, families, etc. Vulnerability helps us build trust and closeness, love and respect. That's good stuff, but apparently many of us struggle to be vulnerable and trusting in relationships William Sparks, author of the book, Actualized Leadership: Meeting your Shadow, Maximizing Your Potential, says that “Being vulnerable is critical because it allows us to connect with others in a genuine and authentic way. If we are UNWILLING to be vulnerable, we limit the quality of our relationships with others. Period. It’s difficult to explore vulnerability without considering courage.” (page 129) Dr. Sparks offers us these tips to develop ourselves into more actualized leaders. Which tip(s) are you willing to put into practice? 5 tips for meeting and managing your Fear of Betrayal Shadow Confront your fear of vulnerability Admit that it hurts to feel rejection, judgment, or indifference Forgive others, and yourself Remove people from your life who cannot be trusted Give yourself permission to practice vulnerability and be less than perfect. Please don't get overwhelmed. Remember, start with baby steps. Being Vulnerable Starts from Within Before we can change the culture, we must be willing to change ourselves first. Examining our relationship with vulnerability and other leadership attributes can be difficult. You can’t do it just inside your own head. It’s helpful to gather with a small group of trusted people and openly discuss topics like Vulnerability. That’s what we did at one of our Fearless COFFEE CHAT social. And the conversation and connection was powerful. Below is the list of conversation prompts that I gave them for their breakout groups. Why not take this list of questions and use them to facilitate your own small group discussion? ☕️ Conversation Prompts on Vulnerability When has being vulnerable opened the door to a deeper connection or opportunity in your life? Can you think of a recent moment when you chose to show up and be seen, even without knowing how it would turn out? When has being vulnerable not gone the way you hoped? What did you take away or learn from that experience? What helps you feel safe enough to be open and authentic with others? How do you balance being open-hearted and vulnerable with maintaining healthy boundaries? Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give your younger self about the power of vulnerability? Favorite Quotes on Vulnerability We all need to be inspired, and quotes are terrific tools to do that. they open up the heart and mind and give us new ways to look at things. Here's a quote from Brene Brown that I found worthy of sharing. "To live with courage, purpose, and connection—to be the person whom we long to be—we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen". ~ Brene Brown , author of Daring Greatly. 👥 Please share your favorite quote on Vulnerability at our Fearless Leader Community on Mighty Networks. Post your quote here. 🆓 Not yet a member of Mighty Networks? You can join for free - click here.

Is Any Body Perfect?

By Kathy McAfee • October 1, 2025
We all know perfection is overrated—and unachievable. Personally, I’ve found that striving for progress over perfection makes life lighter and more rewarding. I aim for excellence in my work, and while I often fall short of “perfect,” I’ve learned to be fine with that. Sounds nice, right? But let’s get real. Facing the Mirror at 64 As I approach my 64th birthday in November, I’ve been wrestling with the emotional side of normal, age-related changes in my body. And I know I’m not alone. At every age, many of us carry dissatisfaction with our bodies. We compare ourselves to the glamorous images on TV, in magazines, and online—and we end up feeling inadequate. Intellectually, we know comparison is a waste of energy. Emotionally, though, it’s hard to stop. Here’s what I’ve discovered: hating your body never creates change. Loving your body does. When we shift from criticism to appreciation, we tap into the energy, confidence, and motivation to build healthier habits—whether that’s exercise, nutrition, or rest. Rethinking Exercise (and Breath) Earlier this year, I became certified as a breath work instructor. I didn’t set out to teach—I simply wanted a tool to help reduce my anxiety and cope with the chaos of our world. And it worked. I found peace, calm, and a new way of talking to myself. I replaced my old limiting joke—“I’m really a sloth, lazy”—with an empowering truth: 👉 “My body and mind are strong, resilient, and capable.” That simple shift in self-talk has made me feel stronger inside and out. My Morning Routine During my 8-week certification program, I built a new morning ritual that blends breath work, movement, and cold exposure. It usually takes about an hour, but I shorten it when I’m traveling or pressed for time. Here’s my flow: Drink a glass of Sole Water for hydration first thing in the morning 1 minute of standing properly and in silence 2–5 minutes of arm twists Five Tibetan Rites (10–21 reps, depending on how I feel) Breath work (Tummo, TT 5, or TT 10, followed by 2 minutes of rest) Eight Brocades (6 reps each) Shower—ending with 30 seconds of cold water 🥶 Short neighborhood walk A healthy breakfast Do I love it? Absolutely. Do I do it every day? Almost—but I also give myself grace. Consistency Over Intensity One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from my coach, Tim van der Vliet of Breathing for Success, is this: 👉 Consistency matters more than intensity. He introduced me to Dr. Stephen Seiler’s TEDx talk: How “Normal People” Can Train Like the World’s Best Endurance Athletes . It’s 17 minutes that completely reframed how I view exercise. Dr. Seiler explains that 80% of elite athletes’ training happens in the “green zone”—low intensity. “No pain, no gain”? Turns out that’s a slick slogan, but a deeply flawed philosophy. True growth happens gradually, through steady, sustainable practice. Curious to explore more? If this sparks something in you, here are some next steps: Book a free 30-minute Breathing Together session with me Explore Tim’s programs at Breathing for Success Try the Five Tibetan Rites in your own routine. Tim teaches a course in this. Subscribe to Tim’s YouTube channel for free guided practices Perfection isn’t the goal. Progress, peace, and consistency are. And the best place to begin might just be tomorrow morning. 🌅

Risky Business

By Kathy McAfee • September 29, 2025
Risk is all around us. It shows up in our careers, our relationships, our choices, and even in the quiet moments when we wonder what might happen if we step outside of our comfort zone. For some, the very word “risk” brings up fear. For others, it sparks excitement. For most of us, it is a mix of both. At a most recent Fearless COFFEE CHAT social , we gathered as a small circle of risk takers to explore how uncertainty can actually be a path to growth. We swapped stories, asked bold questions, and reminded each other of something important: without risk, there is no reward. Why Risk Matters Here are three truths that stood out in our conversation: Risk is unavoidable. It is part of the human experience, whether we like it or not. Risk fuels growth. Research shows that stepping into uncertainty builds resilience, leadership, and self-actualization. No risk, no reward. Calculated risks open doors, both personally and professionally. Think back to your own journey. Wha t risk - big or small - changed your trajectory? Maybe it was applying for a new job, starting a business, speaking up in a difficult meeting, or moving to a new city. Often, those pivotal choices felt scary in the moment but became turning points in hindsight. Rethinking Risk One of the most helpful takeaways from our discussion was the idea that risk does not have to be reckless. Smart, courageous risks are intentional. They are guided by purpose, balanced by preparation, and supported by community. Here are a few practical ways to reframe your relationship with risk: Redefine risk as opportunity. Instead of focusing on what you might lose, ask what doors could open. Start small. Practice by speaking up in a meeting, testing a new idea, or reaching out to a potential collaborator. Balance head and heart. Do your research and trust your gut. Both perspectives matter. Know your why. A strong purpose turns fear into courage. Build a safety net. Have a Plan B, and lean on trusted advisors. Expect failure. Not every risk will work out, but each one teaches you something valuable. Find your people. Courage is contagious when you surround yourself with others who celebrate effort, not just results. Which of these resonates most with you? Questions for Reflection If you are ready to explore risk in your own life and leadership, here are a few questions to sit with: Looking back, what risk opened a new door for you? Looking ahead, what risk are you grappling with that might make all the difference? How does risk show up in your leadership, your relationships, your daily choices? What would it look like to treat risk as a friend rather than a foe? Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is start a conversation. At your next networking event or coffee meeting, try asking: “I’m curious - when you look back, what’s a risk that opened a new door for you?” You might be surprised at the stories you hear. Final Thoughts Growth always requires some degree of uncertainty. Whether you are launching a new project, stepping into leadership, or navigating a life transition, risk is part of the process. You can resist it, or you can embrace it with courage, clarity, and intention. As author Gail Sheehy wrote, “Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” And Jim Rohn reminded us, “If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” So, what risks are calling you forward right now? And which ones might just open the next big door in your life? I say, feel the free and take the risk anyway!

Speaking Your Truth: The Courage to Practice Candor

By Kathy McAfee • July 2, 2025
The topic of free speech is everywhere these days. From the breaking news reports to our social feeds, we’re seeing conversations about the right to speak, protest, and peacefully assemble being pushed to the forefront. At the same time, we’re watching those rights be questioned and, in some cases, restricted. In divided or uncertain times, speaking up can feel risky. But choosing to be silent comes with its own cost. It takes courage to use your voice, and not just one kind. Speaking your truth often requires social courage, physical courage, and intellectual courage. You have to be willing to be uncomfortable. To risk being wrong. To risk being misunderstood. Sometimes, staying quiet feels easier. But easier doesn’t always mean better. As my friend and writing coach Lois McKenzie puts it in this article , “The prerequisite for speaking isn’t perfection. It’s caring enough about something bigger than your own comfort to risk being wrong, misunderstood or judged.” That quote hits home for so many of us. Too often, fear dresses itself up as humility. But real leadership means choosing visibility over safety, honesty over harmony, and growth over comfort. One of the most underused forms of free speech is candor. Candor is the choice to be forthright and sincere in our communication. It’s not about being blunt or harsh. It’s about showing respect for others by speaking clearly, directly, and with care. In the book Actualized Leadership: Meeting Your Shadow, Maximizing Your Potential author Dr. Will Sparks includes candor as one of the nine essential attributes of actualized leadership. It is one of the behaviors that actualized leaders do consistently well. Cander is also included in the “Confidence Sequence” grouped with objectivity and courage. (see Chapter 8). Here’s what stands out about actualized leaders: They don’t sugarcoat the truth. They don’t avoid difficult conversations. They don’t use honesty as a weapon. They speak to be clear, not to be right. Candor also helps prevent unnecessary drama and wasted time. And it builds trust between people. Dr. Sparks reminds us, “Whether you’re leading an organization or making decisions about a personal relationship, you owe it to yourself and anyone else involved to be candid.” (page 105 of Actualized Leadership ) If candor feels hard for you, you’re not alone. Many of us were raised to keep the peace, smooth things over, or avoid conflict. But holding back can be just as damaging as speaking carelessly. You can be kind and candid at the same time. One helpful approach that I’ve used successfully is to start a conversation with this simple question: “May I be candid with you?” This question invites permission and sets the tone for a more open exchange. It helps the listener emotionally prepare themself for what might be an uncomfortable conversation. It also builds confidence, creates connection, and helps move things forward. As Dr. Sparks explains, “Rather than agenda-laden or hurtful bluntness, candor is about respecting the value of others without making assumptions about likely responses or reactions.” (page 105) Does candor help or hinder your goal attainment? I believe there’s a strong link between reaching our goals and learning how to speak our truth. Candor isn’t just important in leadership. It’s essential for progress in our personal and professional lives. When we speak clearly, we create clarity. When we speak our truth, we build trust within ourselves and with others. When we communicate with courage, we inspire others to do the same. So consider this your invitation to reflect on your own voice. Ask yourself: What does free speech mean to me? Where am I withholding honesty, and why? What fears stop me from being more candid? Who do I find it hardest to be honest with? How do I typically respond when others are trying to speak their truth and be candid with me? What might happen if I found the courage to speak more freely….and allow others to do the same? Empower yourself with the right to speak freely Imagine what your business and your life might look like if you gave yourself permission to speak your truth more often. Candor could be the tool that unlocks that next level of growth, connection, and confidence. What truth do you need to speak next? First be candid with yourself.

What Does it Really Mean to be Free?

By Kathy McAfee • June 4, 2025
With Juneteenth on the horizon, I’ve found myself reflecting more deeply on the idea of freedom, what it means, how we experience it, and how often it’s something we must reclaim for ourselves. Juneteenth commemorates a pivotal moment in American history. It marks the day in 1865 when enslaved African Americans in Texas finally learned that they had been freed, two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation had been signed by President Abraham Lincoln. Slavery was officially abolished later that year with the ratification of the 13th Amendment. And yet, freedom is not a one-time event. It’s not a single document, a holiday, or a moment in time. It’s an ongoing journey. I first learned about Juneteenth when I interviewed Dr. Opal Lee for my book Fearless Female Leaders . I was deeply moved by her story. I think you will be too when you read the book. At 97 years old, Opal continues to work for unity, justice, and peace. Even after successfully leading the movement to make Juneteenth a national holiday, she didn’t stop. Her commitment to building a better world remains as strong as ever. Her story, “The Fearless Face of Freedom,” appears in Chapter 8 of my book and continues to inspire me, and many others, to keep asking big questions about what freedom looks like today.

Planting Seeds of Opportunity

By Kathy McAfee • April 15, 2025
The coaching session that changed the way I think and do new business development. Planting seeds as a metaphor is powerful!

How to Overcome Presentation Procrastination

By Kathy McAfee • March 26, 2025
I’m excited to announce the relaunch of a digital toolkit that has saved my ass numerous times in the past. It’s called The Control Center presentation toolkit and it includes exclusive content from my book, Stop Global Boring . This presentation toolkit literally saved me this past week. Saved me from what, you ask? 👹 Presentation procrastination: that’s what! You know the pressure of pulling together a fantastic presentation with all the bells and whistles but having it stay in your head as a big vision, but absolutely nothing materializing in real life? Hours go by, days go by, weeks go by… and still you remain in procrastination land. You manage to skirt by when the boss keeps asking you to review your slides. In truth you haven’t created a single one. Or maybe you pulled up an old presentation and tried to update it. But you know in your heart that it stinks. The pressure and reputation risks are building by the hour. Can you just wing it like you've done before? Truth be told… None of us are immune from the pain and agony of presentation procrastination. Not even me. (and I teach this stuff!) For the past four weeks I’ve been struggling with getting my presentation together for a major presentation with an exciting new client. I could visualize it all in my head, but nothing was materializing in a way that was actionable. Finally, I opened up The Control Center presentation toolkit and used the tools of my own making. And it worked! Fast as lightning, the pieces started to come together. I figured out my key message, critical content, support materials, opening and closing statements, and ways I could engage the audience so this wasn’t just a boring, talking-head-style presentation. Best of all, my energy is up and I am feeling confident and excited about this presentation opportunity. So different than the negative feelings I was experiencing when I was stuck in procrastination land. Shifting into GO mode This week I’m headed to Chicago to present two breakout sessions for the Arthritis Foundation at their Staff Summit. (Check out their website - they have helpful resources ). My session is entitled: Power of the Pitch: Presenting with Influence and Impact . I will be giving the session with little or no slides. My goal is to teach them how to summon the courage to be creative (not controlled), to be original (not ordinary) and to be bold (not bland or boring) when they give presentations and talks. And I will give them presentation planning tools and techniques to prevent procrastination from setting in. Are you prone to presentation procrastination? Many people think procrastination is laziness, but I think procrastination is a response to FEAR. Fear of failing… Fear of falling short of expectations… Fear of being judged or criticized… Fear of being boring… And in the case of presentation procrastination, plain old fear of public speaking! In my twenty years of working with clients on their presentation skills and communication mastery, I have also seen many bad habits that waste time and bore audiences to death. The biggest bad habit in presentation preparation (other than waiting until the last minute and winging it), is hiding behind your PowerPoint slides. Many of my clients equate presentations with PPT slides and refer to their slide deck as the presentation itself. Worse yet, building slides is often the very first thing they will do to prepare for an upcoming presentation. This is not how you should prepare for a presentation Slide building should be the very last thing you do in the presentation preparation process. How do you break this bad habit? How can you regain control and find a better way to begin preparing for a presentation? Get The Control Center Presentation Toolkit For $19.97 you can get 13 powerful tools in PDF-writable format and a workbook that will act as a roadmap to help you plan, build, deliver and critique your presentation performance. The toolkit includes my signature presentation tool called Clean Sheet Thinking which will help you develop your high-level game plan for your upcoming presentation. Using this powerful tool from The Control Center toolkit you can go from the agony of procrastination to the thrill of seeing the strategic vision of your presentation come to life! From procrastination to persuasion in less than 30 minutes! That’s what can happen when you use the tools in The Control Center presentation toolkit. If that’s not worth $19.97, I don’t know what is! 🛍 Save yourself with The Control Center presentation toolkit 📖 Save your audience by reading my book Stop Global Boring

Don't Let Your Relationships Drift

By Kathy McAfee • February 13, 2025
Kathy McAfee shares her philosophy that "Networking is more than an event or activity; it is a strategy for a successful life." But too many working professionals let their relationships drift away through inaction, neglect, stress, lack of time and lack of communication and appreciation. Kathy offers insights and tips to help you learn how to reconnect and to renew the important relationships in your life.

How would you RATE your boss?

By Kathy McAfee • January 15, 2025
Over the course of my long career, I have had my fair share of good bosses (like Simon Fraser and Yolanda Canny), and some bad bosses (who know who they are). If I were completely honest with myself, I would also say as a manager of people, I have been rated by some direct reports as a very good boss and by others, I’ve been viewed as a really shitty manager. I own it all. Learning from negative role models Looking back, I see that I have learned as much from the bad bosses as I have with the good ones. The same goes for role models: there are plenty of examples of terrible leadership, as well as the great. While it’s frustrating to see how frequently the unethical and unprincipled leaders get away with stuff, there’s an opportunity to learn a great deal from them. Being a student of leadership often means we need to observe and study not only what we aspire to, but also the opposite. I observed a great deal of negative leadership lessons during 2020, the first year of the pandemic. In fact, negative leadership was a primary inspiration and catalyst for me to develop the curriculum of my new signature program: The Fearless Leader 8-week group mentoring leadership development program . As I re-read the discussion guides for each of the eight weeks, I remember the context of bad leadership and bad bosses that were operating at that time - as I’m sure you’ll recall from that year! And yet, we survived, and grew, and became wiser. Bonus - a new program was born! Our leadership must evolve as we move into 2025. I see an urgent need for each of us to hold on dearly to our values and principles of ethical leadership, no matter how much craziness falls down on us from the top. When you think of some descriptive words about our leaders today, what words come to mind? For me, “power”, “control” and sadly, “greed” come to mind. Classically a male-dominated expression of leadership, power and control are only one form of leadership. There are many other leadership styles and expressions. And while many people praise command and control style leaders as strong, their regimes tend to be quite damaging to those in their care. Win some. Lose some. Winning doesn’t instantly make you a great leader; nor will winning make you a good boss, or a wonderful partner, or worthy parent. It takes so much more than that. I believe that how you handle the losses reveals so much more about your true character as a leader than winning will ever do for you. Choosing to accept your losses with grace, dignity and humility will also build your resilience. So let’s all remember that winning isn’t everything, nor is it the only thing. Being a good leader doesn’t just happen by accident. You have to make an intentional decision and take intentional actions towards being a better kind of fearless leader. In 2025, resolve to be a good boss, a better leader, a respectful colleague, and a positive role model for current and future leaders who you will influence directly or indirectly. My advice to all would-be fearless leaders is this: Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. Seek honest and open feedback. Listen. Create a positive workplace culture. Be accountable. Admit when you are wrong. Apologize. Think before you speak. Be humble and kind. Be grateful. Share. Help others. Leave the world a better place. Pay it forward. Be fearless, but don’t be a jerk.

The value of seeing things differently

By Kathy McAfee • December 30, 2024
Years ago, my husband and I inherited a beautiful free-form wall sculpture from his world-traveling uncle named Otto. Created by Czechoslovak artist Herbert Seiler, this piece has been proudly hung in our homes over the years since Otto’s death. The piece has always intrigued me but not for the reasons you might think. Crafted from copper and other metals, molded and shaped to create a feeling of ships at sea. But by tilting our heads and looking at the piece from a different angle, the art becomes something different. Can you see it?