Anything Can Be Repaired

In April 2018 my husband and I launched an Airbnb house. As a first time Airbnb host, we quickly figured out what it took to create a positive experience for our guests. Thus far, we have had 58 bookings, with guests visiting our town from all over the United States, Europe and as far away as China.

It has been a very positive experience for us. Of course, there were a few guests who we wished had booked at a different place. For example, we had one family whose infant was allowed to urinate on our sofa, and the parents flipped over the cushion hoping we wouldn’t notice. Or that same guest who shaved his red beard in our sink, leaving the hair clippings all over the bathroom. Or the guest who toweled off her hair which she had dyed bright blue and purple, leaving permanent stains on our plush white bath towels. Or the guest who chipped our enamel bathtub and then claimed it was like that when they arrived. I’m not complaining (or am I?). This is just part of the experience in hospitality. It makes me think more carefully about how I leave the room when I check out of a hotel. But I’m still bothered by the lack of consideration, accountability, and the damage that some people cause without taking personal responsibility.

But then my husband reminds me, “Anything can be repaired.” And he really believes it. Byron is gifted with do-it-yourself, handy man genes. He is incredibly useful and has saved us unbelievable amounts of money on home repair jobs.

Attitude is Everything

What a wonderful attitude and empowering belief that you believe you could repair or fix just about anything. It opens up so many possibilities. The results of approaching life like this might include reduction in landfill (e.g., broken consumer goods that no one takes the time to repair; just dump it and replace it). Parents would be modeling and teaching their children valuable life skills like do-it-yourself home repair. You could save money with this attitude. And you would have a lifetime of cool projects on your personal honey-do-list or project list.

I appreciate that not everyone has the do-it-yourself skill or interest. And yes, power tools can be intimidating to use (note: my friends at Stanley Black & Decker can help you overcome that fear). But what about other things that need fixing and repairing, like damaged relationships, and shredded self-esteem? Once damaged, can these things be repaired, or are they destined to be thrown out with the trash?

Which Got Me Wondering…

When I hear others or myself use words like “anything” or “everyone” or “always” or even “never” in a declarative statement, I am immediately suspicious. There are always exceptions to that rule. (I just noticed I used the word “always” in that last sentence. Hmmm…) So I wondered how one might go about repairing any of these situations:


  • Strained family relationships
  • Negative first impressions
  • Betrayal and broken trust of a close friend or loved one
  • Backstabbing by a colleague
  • Injustice
  • Lawsuits
  • Bullying by school mates
  • Rape, sexual assault or harassment by a person in power (#MeToo movement)
  • Domestic violence
  • Ugly divorce
  • Kids who won’t talk to you or blame you for everything that’s gone wrong in their lives
  • Damaged professional reputation
  • Being fired from your job for cause or for no reason
  • Being incarcerated


Okay, I’m getting pretty dark here. But these are real situations that many of us have had to face in our lifetimes. Recovering from these situations–repairing ourselves, if you will–can take years.

So what can we do, as individuals, to repair ourselves when we are damaged?

We Can Emerge

I’m blessed to know and work with an inspiring and talented leader, speaker and author, Maureen Ross Gemme. Just being in her presence for thirty minutes is enough to brighten my day. Maureen and I have traveled together, co-facilitating training courses with corporate clients on important topics such as communication efficiency, and building productive relationships. On those business trips she confidently shared aspects of her life, including her personal story of addiction recovery. She has just released a new book called Emerge: 7 Steps to transformation (no matter what life throws at you), published by Flower of Life Press.

In this powerful little book, Maureen points out the simple truth that we are not tied to our pasts and that we can change our beliefs to better support the life we want to live. “A belief,” she says, “is simply a thought that you think over and over again. It can be changed.”

In the book is a compelling story of two brothers, Tony and Carl, who endured a hellish upbringing by an abusive father. Guess how their lives turned out? I won’t spoil the surprise (you’ll have to buy and read the book for that), but the story demonstrates an important principle of living: “In this life, you get to choose. You alone are responsible for your choices.”

Let Go of Resentments

Holding a grudge is one of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves. It forces us to stay in a negative space, replaying the original injury or insult over and over again, causing more and more damage to the psyche. I believe that hanging on to resentment has long term, cumulative, negative impact.

Often times the people who have hurt us have already moved on with their lives, forgetting the incident altogether. Meanwhile we are stewing over it for days, weeks, years. So how do we repair that situation? We let it go. We forget and forgive. And this simple act of letting go, allows us to release the grip it has over us. We can breathe again. We are lighter, less stressed, more open and free. Letting go indeed has many physical, mental, emotional and spiritual benefits. And it is all in our control. We can repair ourselves in this way.

The Power of Forgiveness

I just got off the phone with Maureen to better understand her take on how forgiveness works. She reminded me that “forgiveness is a gift that you give yourself.”

I shared details with Maureen about my difficult parenting experience and the heart-breaking disruption of our twin sons who we adopted from the foster care system when they were nine years old. Some of you know this story–how our family was torn apart by a set of circumstances that no one could control. They were the most difficult years of my life–even more difficult than going through ovarian cancer. I remember searching for peace and forgiveness. I wanted to know the strategy and steps behind forgiveness. How did it work exactly? I kept asking people, “How do you do forgiveness? What’s the magic formula?” Forgiveness seemed elusive to me at that desperate time in my life, when I was so full of fear, sadness, anger and resentment.

At one magical moment, one of our twins dropped by our house, after not speaking to us for four years. He told us he had joined the military and was being deployed overseas. We invited him in for coffee and conversation. It was the most amazing experience. A moment of grace and closure. I was able to tell him that I was sorry that I hadn’t been the mother and person he needed me to be at that time in his life; I was sorry our family had broken apart; and that I loved him and wanted the very best for him now and in the future. He told me that I didn’t need to apologize; that it was all in the past. He had forgotten about it. But I told him that I needed to tell him how I was feeling. I needed to ask for his forgiveness, and to forgive myself. And so it was done. The air was cleared. When he left the house, he promised to stay in touch. We haven’t heard from him since that special night. But it’s okay. I found the forgiveness I was seeking. I feel at peace about that experience. And that is how I came to heal myself, to repair my broken heart.

In Maureen’s book, Emerge, she provides an important perspective on the impact that forgiveness can have on your life and future:

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean you approve, need to forget, or that you need to accept that person back in our life. Forgiveness just means you won’t let the power of that experience hurt you anymore. It’s in the PAST! Gone. Finished. Released. You will now free up your energy and grow spiritually. More doors and opportunities will open for you.”

Do You Have the Courage to Apologize?

While it may feel really vulnerable and risky to apologize–to acknowledge your mistakes and wrongdoing–it’s also incredibly empowering to do so. It shows great character and personal strength. It helps to repair, reset and restore important relationships.

I fear that the humility and self-awareness required to apologize with sincerity is sorely lacking in many of our leaders these days. We see our political leaders modeling behavior and strategies that are more akin to a strategy I refer to as “Deny-distract-attack; Blame-lie-sue.” Wouldn’t it just be simpler, cleaner and more human to say, “I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Please forgive me.”?

Maureen believes that when we apologize to someone, we need to stay focused on what we did. We must admit our part of it and stay focused there. Don’t remind them of what they did to trigger you or caused you to behave in an inappropriate way. She said it like cleaning up your side of the street. Once you are done, don’t go to your neighbor and say, “Heh, your side looks like crap.” Apologizing is a way of taking personal responsibility for your life and actions. As Maureen says, it helps you “own your own shit.” (That’s one of my favorite expressions, crude as it may be!) Apologizing help us cleanse away emotional blocks. Apologizing is part of letting go and moving on. In our roles as parents, co-workers, friends, spouses, neighbors, and citizens, Maureen encourages all of us to model apologizing and make it a normal part of interacting with other people.

According to the team at MindTools, apologizing is the ability to ask for forgiveness gracefully. “It isn’t always easy to apologize, but it’s the most effective way to restore trust and balance in a relationship, when you’ve done something wrong.”

Watch this helpful video on the four steps they outline for an effective apologies:

The four steps seem pretty simple at first, but they’ll take practice and getting used to in order to add them to your communication skill set.

1. Express remorse.
2. Admit responsibility.
3. Make amends.
4. Promise that it won’t happen again.

The MindTools team offers a helpful tip if you’re concerned that your words won’t come out right when you apologize. “Write down what you want to say, and then role-play the conversation with a trusted friend or colleague. However, don’t practice so much that your apology sounds rehearsed. Read their full article How to Apologize: Asking for Forgiveness Gracefully

When All Else Fails, Laugh

My final tip to help you repair the more challenging things in your life is to remember that laughter has tremendous healing power. Not laughing at other people, but laughing at yourself and the ridiculous ways in which our minds get twisted and tangled in negativity and unproductive ways. Laughter helps to reset the brain, shifts our physiology, and alters the chemicals in our bodies. Laughter helps us to feel better. Maybe that’s why I just love this photo that I found of Maureen Ross Gemme online. You can just feel the joy, delight, and freedom that she has created in her life. If it works for her, maybe it will work for you? You get to decide.


“You are the leader of your life and by stepping up and challenging yourself to get to the next level you can make the world a better place.”
~ Maureen Ross Gemme



Learn more about Maureen at her website EmergeLeadershipAcademy.com 

By Kathy McAfee April 15, 2025
The coaching session that changed the way I think and do new business development. Planting seeds as a metaphor is powerful!
By Kathy McAfee March 26, 2025
I’m excited to announce the relaunch of a digital toolkit that has saved my ass numerous times in the past. It’s called The Control Center presentation toolkit and it includes exclusive content from my book, Stop Global Boring . This presentation toolkit literally saved me this past week. Saved me from what, you ask? 👹 Presentation procrastination: that’s what! You know the pressure of pulling together a fantastic presentation with all the bells and whistles but having it stay in your head as a big vision, but absolutely nothing materializing in real life? Hours go by, days go by, weeks go by… and still you remain in procrastination land. You manage to skirt by when the boss keeps asking you to review your slides. In truth you haven’t created a single one. Or maybe you pulled up an old presentation and tried to update it. But you know in your heart that it stinks. The pressure and reputation risks are building by the hour. Can you just wing it like you've done before? Truth be told… None of us are immune from the pain and agony of presentation procrastination. Not even me. (and I teach this stuff!) For the past four weeks I’ve been struggling with getting my presentation together for a major presentation with an exciting new client. I could visualize it all in my head, but nothing was materializing in a way that was actionable. Finally, I opened up The Control Center presentation toolkit and used the tools of my own making. And it worked! Fast as lightning, the pieces started to come together. I figured out my key message, critical content, support materials, opening and closing statements, and ways I could engage the audience so this wasn’t just a boring, talking-head-style presentation. Best of all, my energy is up and I am feeling confident and excited about this presentation opportunity. So different than the negative feelings I was experiencing when I was stuck in procrastination land. Shifting into GO mode This week I’m headed to Chicago to present two breakout sessions for the Arthritis Foundation at their Staff Summit. (Check out their website - they have helpful resources ). My session is entitled: Power of the Pitch: Presenting with Influence and Impact . I will be giving the session with little or no slides. My goal is to teach them how to summon the courage to be creative (not controlled), to be original (not ordinary) and to be bold (not bland or boring) when they give presentations and talks. And I will give them presentation planning tools and techniques to prevent procrastination from setting in. Are you prone to presentation procrastination? Many people think procrastination is laziness, but I think procrastination is a response to FEAR. Fear of failing… Fear of falling short of expectations… Fear of being judged or criticized… Fear of being boring… And in the case of presentation procrastination, plain old fear of public speaking! In my twenty years of working with clients on their presentation skills and communication mastery, I have also seen many bad habits that waste time and bore audiences to death. The biggest bad habit in presentation preparation (other than waiting until the last minute and winging it), is hiding behind your PowerPoint slides. Many of my clients equate presentations with PPT slides and refer to their slide deck as the presentation itself. Worse yet, building slides is often the very first thing they will do to prepare for an upcoming presentation. This is not how you should prepare for a presentation Slide building should be the very last thing you do in the presentation preparation process. How do you break this bad habit? How can you regain control and find a better way to begin preparing for a presentation? Get The Control Center Presentation Toolkit For $19.97 you can get 13 powerful tools in PDF-writable format and a workbook that will act as a roadmap to help you plan, build, deliver and critique your presentation performance. The toolkit includes my signature presentation tool called Clean Sheet Thinking which will help you develop your high-level game plan for your upcoming presentation. Using this powerful tool from The Control Center toolkit you can go from the agony of procrastination to the thrill of seeing the strategic vision of your presentation come to life! From procrastination to persuasion in less than 30 minutes! That’s what can happen when you use the tools in The Control Center presentation toolkit. If that’s not worth $19.97, I don’t know what is! 🛍 Save yourself with The Control Center presentation toolkit 📖 Save your audience by reading my book Stop Global Boring
By Kathy McAfee February 13, 2025
Kathy McAfee shares her philosophy that "Networking is more than an event or activity; it is a strategy for a successful life." But too many working professionals let their relationships drift away through inaction, neglect, stress, lack of time and lack of communication and appreciation. Kathy offers insights and tips to help you learn how to reconnect and to renew the important relationships in your life.
By Kathy McAfee January 15, 2025
Over the course of my long career, I have had my fair share of good bosses (like Simon Fraser and Yolanda Canny), and some bad bosses (who know who they are). If I were completely honest with myself, I would also say as a manager of people, I have been rated by some direct reports as a very good boss and by others, I’ve been viewed as a really shitty manager. I own it all. Learning from negative role models Looking back, I see that I have learned as much from the bad bosses as I have with the good ones. The same goes for role models: there are plenty of examples of terrible leadership, as well as the great. While it’s frustrating to see how frequently the unethical and unprincipled leaders get away with stuff, there’s an opportunity to learn a great deal from them. Being a student of leadership often means we need to observe and study not only what we aspire to, but also the opposite. I observed a great deal of negative leadership lessons during 2020, the first year of the pandemic. In fact, negative leadership was a primary inspiration and catalyst for me to develop the curriculum of my new signature program: The Fearless Leader 8-week group mentoring leadership development program . As I re-read the discussion guides for each of the eight weeks, I remember the context of bad leadership and bad bosses that were operating at that time - as I’m sure you’ll recall from that year! And yet, we survived, and grew, and became wiser. Bonus - a new program was born! Our leadership must evolve as we move into 2025. I see an urgent need for each of us to hold on dearly to our values and principles of ethical leadership, no matter how much craziness falls down on us from the top. When you think of some descriptive words about our leaders today, what words come to mind? For me, “power”, “control” and sadly, “greed” come to mind. Classically a male-dominated expression of leadership, power and control are only one form of leadership. There are many other leadership styles and expressions. And while many people praise command and control style leaders as strong, their regimes tend to be quite damaging to those in their care. Win some. Lose some. Winning doesn’t instantly make you a great leader; nor will winning make you a good boss, or a wonderful partner, or worthy parent. It takes so much more than that. I believe that how you handle the losses reveals so much more about your true character as a leader than winning will ever do for you. Choosing to accept your losses with grace, dignity and humility will also build your resilience. So let’s all remember that winning isn’t everything, nor is it the only thing. Being a good leader doesn’t just happen by accident. You have to make an intentional decision and take intentional actions towards being a better kind of fearless leader. In 2025, resolve to be a good boss, a better leader, a respectful colleague, and a positive role model for current and future leaders who you will influence directly or indirectly. My advice to all would-be fearless leaders is this: Surround yourself with people who are smarter than you. Seek honest and open feedback. Listen. Create a positive workplace culture. Be accountable. Admit when you are wrong. Apologize. Think before you speak. Be humble and kind. Be grateful. Share. Help others. Leave the world a better place. Pay it forward. Be fearless, but don’t be a jerk.
By Kathy McAfee December 30, 2024
Years ago, my husband and I inherited a beautiful free-form wall sculpture from his world-traveling uncle named Otto. Created by Czechoslovak artist Herbert Seiler, this piece has been proudly hung in our homes over the years since Otto’s death. The piece has always intrigued me but not for the reasons you might think. Crafted from copper and other metals, molded and shaped to create a feeling of ships at sea. But by tilting our heads and looking at the piece from a different angle, the art becomes something different. Can you see it?
By Kathy McAfee October 30, 2024
[Sensitive topic warning: Infertility, miscarriage, abortion.] I never thought I’d be sharing this personal information, but the stakes are too high in this election. I must tell you my personal story of my medically necessary abortion. It happened twenty-four years ago. I was thirty-eight years old and just returned home to the States following a fabulous three-year work assignment in Europe for my company. I was at the peak of my career and the future looked bright. My husband and I decided that we were ready to start a family and have children. After trying for more than a year, I found myself having difficulty getting pregnant. Turns out my fallopian tubes were damaged, and it was not possible to get pregnant the old-fashioned way. I remember how painful it was to be going to other people's baby showers knowing that I couldn’t conceive a child without medical intervention. So… We opted for IVF. IVF was difficult for me in so many ways: physically, emotionally, psychologically, and financially. With every needle injection and awkward procedure, I was reminded that no matter how well I planned and organized my life, there were certain things I just couldn’t control. The first round of IVF produced only one viable egg. It didn’t take. The second round of IVF we got lucky and produced six viable eggs. We took a risk and implanted all six embryos in my body at once, understanding the possibility of having twins or triplets. In the end only one egg took hold in my womb. Days after we got the good news, I remember singing a song while hiking with my husband, “One, singular egg-sation, every little step she takes.” A few weeks into the pregnancy, we decided to share our wonderful news (perhaps prematurely) with our extended family and close friends. It was so joyous and exciting, until… Failure to thrive At the appointment for our second ultrasound, our spirits sank when the technician couldn’t find the fetal heartbeat. You should have seen the look on her face. We knew in an instant that our heroic efforts to have a family had failed. Our fetus (which we called our Little Peanut) had failed to thrive. A medically necessary procedure The next thing I knew my doctor had scheduled a medically necessary abortion known as a D&C to remove the dead tissue inside my womb. In my grief, I didn’t really understand why I was having this procedure, but the doctor told me that it was necessary to safeguard my health and any future possibility of having children. So, I followed the doctor's orders. Knowing what I know now, I’m grateful that I had the procedure as it protected me and my future. I was lucky back then that the government wasn’t involved in this very personal and private matter between me and my doctor. Healing takes time It’s taken many years, but I have healed from my miscarriage and the loss of my motherhood dreams. I have learned to accept and embrace our child-free lifestyle. I have found other productive ways to apply my maternal instincts and to grow as a person. In fact, I have dedicated my professional life to helping women break through the barriers to leadership and have fulfilling careers and lives. My life is blessed in so many ways. But still… I worry about women. I worry about women and girls of child-bearing age and their freedom to make decisions about their own bodies and futures. I fear for their health and well-being. These women are our future leaders. I want them to have the freedom and opportunity to realize their full leadership potential. More repressive legislation is coming… The same medically necessary abortion procedure that saved my health and my future is now restricted in many parts of the US. In some states like Texas, doctors and healthcare providers are being threatened with prison sentences and loss of their medical licenses if they provide these necessary health care services to their patients. Right now, pregnant women across this country are suffering and dying because they can’t get the health care that they need. According to the March of Dimes more than 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. Miscarriage. With abortion bans continuing, many women who experience miscarriages could find themselves in life-threatening situations. And it’s getting darker… Some states and groups are calling to make IVF illegal. Others want to monitor women’s movements to prevent them from traveling to other states to get the health care they need. There are leaders out there who want to pass a national abortion ban, like Trump and Vance, and the folks at the Heritage Foundation who are the architects of Project 2025 that seeks to obliterate sexual and reproductive health and rights for all people. The illusion of exceptions Many states, including South Carolina where I live, legislators placate their constituents by including the phrase “with exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother” into legislation and their stump speeches. This is a façade and a logistical impracticality. It’s also inhumane. Women shouldn’t have to be at death’s door to get the health care they need. We want “the health of the mother” and all women to be the norm, not the exception. To achieve this, we must include abortion care (and contraception and IVF) as legal, safe, accepted and respected health care. There’s still time to restore reproductive rights and protect women With every moment that goes by, women are at risk in states with Trump-inspired abortion bans in place. Women’s health is also threatened by politicians (and the billionaires and think tanks who support them) who have intentions to ban abortion at the national level. Choosing the wrong leaders in this election (up and down the ticket) could have grave consequences on women’s health. And that would have devastating impacts on women and families and the health of our nation for generations to come. Voting (not violence) is the way we make change in America. If you value and respect women, you will vote to protect their reproductive rights. If you value freedom and health care for all, you will vote to protect democracy. This election I proudly cast my vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Because lives depend on it. And I urge you to do the same.
A woman is sitting in front of a banner that says meet fearless virtual assistant
By Sam McCracken January 30, 2024
You’ve heard the expression, “All Systems Go.” It indicates a state of readiness for immediate action. This is how my fearless virtual assistant, Samantha (Sam) McCracken makes me think-feel-do. I believe the phrase “All Systems Go” originated from space flight control centers and was the confident response given when everything was ready to launch. I can only imagine how many people, steps, procedures, systems, tests and trials, and investment preceded that confident declaration of readiness. As woman-owned business that has been operational since 2005, I cannot even remember how many different methods and systems I have experimented with. I seem to have a propensity for complexity and personalization. Perhaps it’s how my brain works. I am not an analytic, systems thinker. I am more of a creative entrepreneur type. I remember writing my first book Networking Ahead for Business about the importance of networking follow-up. In my research for the book I quoted another expert who narrowed in on what I was missing – the system. Opening my own book this morning and finding the passage, I am reminded of the importance of systems even with routine activities such as professional networking. Taking my own advice from my own book (first published in 2010 and updated in 2017), I built a networking follow-up system. But it wasn’t efficient. It wasn’t fast. And it didn’t allow me to scale my efforts and impact. In short, my system wasn’t particularly powerful. I was still bogged down with all of the follow-up tasks and unable to leverage the fearless networking I was capable of. So I took the next local step and I outsourced some of my administrative tasks to a Virtual Assistant. Basically I dumped my messy system onto to the VA in hopes that they would transform it into something magical. It was good and helpful but I was still missing something important. I was missing the SYSTEM. “Whoever said ‘the fortune is in the follow-up’ first could have been a billionaire if they only got a penny for every time someone said it. And yet, they’ve only got it half right. Follow-up is important, that’s true. But the real fortune is in the follow-up system ." ~ Lisa Robbin Young And then the pandemic came along and we all had to learn new ways of delivering our work and value to our clients. I took a course with David Newman called High Fee Mastery. It was a game-changing investment for me. This is where I learned the 8-week group mentoring virtual model of delivering leadership development training and coaching. Within a few months The Fearless Leader™ 8-week group mentoring cohort program was launched. It was fantastic to find a new brand, platform and purpose. My business service offerings had transformed to 100% virtual delivery. I was (and still am) very happy about that! But tasks were taking too long to complete. For example, onboarding new cohort members was a manual nightmare. My SYSTEMS were scattered. David Newman didn’t seem to have that problem. I wondered what he had that I didn’t have. Okay, let’s be honest, David is fearless, gifted, driven, and Uber confident in what he does and how he does it. He knows his value. David also had someone quite talented behind the scenes. I asked him to please introduce me to his operations manager (and my future fearless virtual assistant) SamMcCracken, business owner of Sharp Business Support. Find the right people to create the right SYSTEMS. After my first consultation call with Sam, I immediately sensed that she would bring tremendous value to my business, my life and my work day. I still remember the three questions she asked me to think about and write a list of (paraphrasing here): 1. things you don’t have time for 2. things you don’t enjoy doing 3. things that need to get done but are not the best use of your time I whipped out my list and shared it with Sam. It became our initial project list. Within a very short period of time, I could see the systematic improvements in my business operations. Things were easier and faster to get done. Less rework. Fewer steps. Sam quickly got me set up on new technology platforms including Airtable, Zapier, Jotform, Calendly, Lead pages, Squarespace, Mighty Networks, Stripe, MailChimp, Google Docs, Loom, ROCK – just to name a few. And although we have many pieces, they all fit and flow together. It’s amazing looking back how many new things I’ve been exposed to and how much more I’ve been able to accomplish…with Sam McCracken at my side. That’s why she is known as “Done For You Tech.” SYSTEMS can make work more fun. Sam sets up my systems, optimizes them, and then teaches me how to use them. We collaborate and communicate daily. Best of all she is a delight to work with. Pleasant, professional, calm, creative, solution-oriented, highly skilled, fast as all get out. And best of all, there is absolutely no drama. What used to burden me now brings me joy and reward. I have to chalk that up to Sam McCracken. She’s my secret weapon…and I’m happy to share her with you. Did I mention that she lives in Spain? The time zone difference has never been a problem. She recently sent me a few favorite pictures of her. I like this one best. It says to me, “With the right systems and the right people on your success team, you can work anywhere anytime, even at a coastal cafe in Spain should you choose.” With Sam McCracken by your side, you too could operate like this! Is this the world’s longest recommendation, or what? Please forgive me if I am overly effusive (gushing even) about how pleased I am to work with Sam McCracken. I want her to continue to grow and succeed in her business. Just today I recommended her to my colleague Cheryl Jones of Thriving With Cheryl Jones and her new podcast Thrive 55+ . If you are an established coaching/training professional like me, spending your precious time on tedious operations and technology – when you could be out there transforming people, Sam McCracken can help you streamline, automate and grow your business. (Note: I have lifted this from Sam’s LinkedIn profile. ) There are two main things she helps her clients with: 1. They need an online course built for them, but they don’t know which tool(s) to use, or they don’t have the time. Sam can build an online course in as little as ONE DAY, with my VIP Day package. It’s true – ONE DAY! 2. Operations aren’t as smooth as they could be. There’s a lot of “stuff” going on, and things could definitely be streamlined. Sam implements systems to organize and automate many of the business operations, resulting in higher accuracy, response times, and profits. Trust me it works! For those of you who are systems-thinker and want to carefully analyze whether or not you are ready for a Virtual Assistant, Sam prepared this outline for my blog to help you assess your need for a Virtual Assistant: Assessing Skills and Specializations: Finding the Perfect Fit for Your Business by Sam McCracken, owner of Sharp Business Support Introduction Setting the Stage: The Challenges of a Disorganized Business Identifying Common Issues: Lack of Organization, Inefficient Processes, and Time Drain The Role of Virtual Assistants (VAs) How Virtual Assistants Can Be the Key to Organizational Transformation Choosing the Right Virtual Assistant Assessing Skills and Specializations: Finding the Perfect Fit for Your Business Implementing Effective Systems Unleashing Efficiency: How Automation Can Save Time and Resources Building a Foundation: The Importance of Well-Designed Systems and Processes Regaining Control: How VAs Help Business Owners Reclaim Their Time This outline would flush out into a great eBook. Maybe Sam will produce it someday (probably in ONE DAY knowing her). But do you really need an eBook to tell you what you already know that you need. If you are anything like me, you know you need help developing a SYSTEM for your business. Carpe Diem. Let’s get going. With Sam McCracken by your side, you too will be All Systems Go!
The year 2024 is written on a colorful background
By Kathy McAfee January 18, 2024
I hope it’s not too late to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR. May 2024 bring you vibrant health, happiness, joy and fulfillment of your professional and personal endeavors. I’m curious what goals have you set for yourself for 2024? What do you hope to accomplish? Where will you put your energy and attention? I have set some fearless goals for 2024 including finish building a new house (a dream project that my husband and I have been working on solidly for the past 2 years. Time to move in already!), launching a new book called Fearless Female Leaders , with coauthor Rosemary Paetow. This book will be the first in a series of Fearless Leader Books. And of course, I want to expand my signature program, The Fearless Leader . I will do that by building out my team of trained facilitators who can bring the program to move people around the world. Personally, I would also like to resume traveling and see more of the world. I have my eyes set on Costa Rica and Portugal this year. And, I want to be there for my aging parents and in-laws. That’s primarily what has driven me to select SHOWING UP as my 2024 Word of the Year. I want to show up as my best self every day, everywhere. I intend to show up for myself and for my family. It’s a tall intention, and one that I will no doubt fail and disappoint often. But every morning I ask myself “How will show up today?” I even keep a daily journal to record how I actually show up. So far, I like my chosen Word of the Year and I believe it will serve me well in the remaining 349 days or 8,369 hours in 2024. I have plenty of time and opportunity to show up…and so do you! What are your fearless goals for 2024? You might be wondering what I mean by fearless goals? A goal is a goal is a goal, right? When I think of fearless goals I imagine something big and important, that really matters to me, that I really want to accomplish for me… and that scares the living daylights out of me. When I think of my fearless goals for the future, I am reminded of a quote by President Franklin D. Roosevelt, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” What is so important to you that you won’t let something like fear stop you? Consider these areas of your life When selecting fearless goals for 2024, consider these different aspects of your life: 1. Professional/occupational 2. Personal 3. Health 4. Family 5. Travel / Adventure 6. Personal Brand 7. Leadership 8. Other I hosted a recent virtual event called Fearlessly Informal Coffee Chat and we had 23 people attend. In addition to getting to know each other through networking, we discussed two questions in breakout groups: 1. What’s your Word of the Year for 2024? Why did you choose it? How do you see this playing out? Who will help hold you accountable to this intention? 2. What fearless goals have you set for yourself in 2024? Why do these matter so much to you? What strategies will you use to overcome fear and ensure you make progress towards your goals (even if baby steps) Formalizing your 2024 fearless goals I invite you to give these above two questions some reflection before the New Year’s spirit gets away from us and we’re in the grind of doing, doing, doing. Why note write a passage of intention in your journal. Share your goals with trusted people in your life and ask them to hold you accountable. You could write a New Year’s Letter and share it with your network. That’s what my mentor and friend, Arthur Samuel Joseph did. And it moved me profoundly. Who is Arthur? He is one of the world’s foremost authorities on the Human Voice. He is a 7-time author, Master Teacher and creator of the Vocal Awareness Institute. He has coached, trained, supported thousands of world-class athletes, artists, leaders and performers of all kinds, including people from the business world, like me. In fact, I am currently enrolled in his one-year Vocal Awareness Mastermind Group. It is such a privilege to be in the same room as Arthur, even if it’s virtually! With his permission, I am sharing with you his beautiful and inspired words about the importance of LEGACY – something we all need to be thinking about and doing more carefully. LEGACY: Arthur’s Annual New Year’s Letter January 10, 2024 As I write this New Year’s letter, I approach a landmark in my life. I will be 78 this month. The landmark is that I begin my 60th year of teaching! Because of this, this year’s letter takes on even greater personal significance for me. In preparation for this creative moment, I have done a great deal of reflection re-reading many pieces I have written in the past and thinking deeply about the future—not just mine—the future for all of us. As a country, the U.S. is perhaps experiencing the most challenging time since our Founding Fathers created America. Wherever those of you in the world who will read this letter live, perhaps your country/your society is also struggling. The ‘overarcing ‘purpose of this letter is to support each of us in being and doing our very best for our Selves, our families and as we choose, the societies in which we live. In this regard, since the creation of Vocal Awareness, one fundamental goal has always been Personal Sovereignty: To help all those I work with to achieve their own enlightenment and enjoy their own empowerment. As I continue deepening and evolving within my Self and within the Work throughout the decades, I have come to recognize and respect that of course, as I have always said, ‘Voice is Power’—that When we Own our Voice, We Own our Power’. In my evolution, I have come to grasp what this really means—beyond the obvious—Voice is vibration—it is energy. To enable us to live in the sovereignty of who we are capable of being—’our supreme excellence’—we want to be able to integrate our very vibration, the energy of who we are in full Conscious Awareness in everything we do, everything we feel; everything we say —as integrally as mindfully as honestly as possible within our Self, in our very thoughts and with whomever we speak. As one of my favorite poets, Rainer Maria Rilke said over a hundred years ago, “I want to unfold. I do not want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie.” Here is another translation of Rilke’s same poem: “I want to unfold. Let no place in me hold itself closed, for wherever I am closed, I am false.” Whatever interpretation/translation one reads, the goal is the same—to live in the truth of who we are—doing and being our very best every single day. Living in this way can enable each of us to truly fulfill our legacy, our promise and through the vibration and energy we carry forth—not simply feel empowered, but actually, be empowered . In turn, in this precarious time rather than being victimized by it, we can instead rise above and perhaps through our Voice, our vibration, our very energy, bring others along with us, enabling our Selves, our community, our families to be healthier, stronger, more compassionate and loving, making the world a better place because we are in it. In preparing for today, one of my readings was to go back to my first book The Sound of the Soul from 1996. The following excerpt is from the final chapter: ‘Vocal Awareness: Creating a New Mythology.’ “…Vocal Awareness and the dissemination of its principles is my vocation, my calling, my lifelong artistic and professional passion. Why do I tell you this? Not because I think Vocal Awareness will be as central to your life as it is to mine, but because I would like you to see Vocal Awareness as fundamental to your life as breathing and communicating are…The practice of Vocal Awareness can be a bulwark against the changing tides of life. It offers a metaphorical, spiritual, and practical structure upon which, in your way and through your power, you can build a life of honor and success…I hope as you [finish reading this letter], you will see your Self as embarking upon the most exhilarating chapter of your new life…one that has brought you closer to your Self… I so love living a life guided by and supported with the Conscious Awareness that Vocal Awareness shows me. I merely have to require my Self to surrender to its ethic because Vocal Awareness has taught me so well how to be the best of my Self possible at all times. I long ago recognized that there are no shortcuts, that, in fact, the only way out is through …Continue your ascent. Continue soaring. Feel the full investiture of your Self in every breath, in every sound and with the fullest integration of mind/body/spirit.” The Sound of the Soul closes with a quote from a poem by the Nobel Laureate, Seamus Heaney. As this poem was so seminal in my personal evolution, I quoted it before and am passing the last stanza on once again as part of My Legacy as I begin my 60th year of teaching as it explains why God gave me Vocal Awareness at such an early stage of my life as my Journey was just beginning. “…I rhyme to see myself. To set the darkness echoing.” I was given Vocal Awareness to see, heal my Self, claim my Self, better serve God, the Work and by extension help others do the same. May this year’s letter contribute to your legacy and be as a beacon that illuminates your path, your Journey, helping you in even some small way reach the fulfillment of your Deeper Self as you claim the life you deserve. Here’s to a bountiful 2024 and beyond! Sincerely, Arthur
A non-gender person walking up stairs and their shadow is a super human with a cape
By Kathy McAfee January 2, 2023
Did you know that the nemesis known as Procrastination cannot withstand the light and power of Accountability? Here’s how to make Accountability your superpower in 2023. New Year – New Goals There’s something magical about the beginning of a new calendar year. A fresh start – new possibilities. It can make you feel like you can do ANYTHING – just like superheroes! But, there are no superheroes, and life is incredibly demanding. The sensible part of us knows that and realizes that we shouldn’t fool ourselves into thinking things will be different just because the calendar has ticked over to a new year. Goal setting alone won’t make our dreams come true. Unless we do something different. As they say, No Change, no change . So why is it that one of the most common new years activities is to set new goals and make resolutions? Perhaps it is because it’s fun to dream about positive change. It’s exciting to envision a new you, one that is slimmer, healthier, happier, and infinitely more successful, etc. But deep down we all know that making big, sustainable change happen is only possible through discipline, action, support, consistent effort, sacrifice, etc. etc. Well, that’s not easy nor is it fun. Maybe that’s why so many people abandon their new year’s goals and resolutions so quickly. So, what’s missing? In one word: Accountability. Here’s a compelling excerpt from Ohio State University blog post: “Plenty of people set goals, but few create a way to be accountable for them. Studies have shown that people who write a goal and identify a way to be accountable for it are twice as likely to achieve that goal than someone who thinks about it or writes it down. Goal accountability means that you are responsible not only to set and achieve goals but to find some way to be accountable to someone other than yourself.” Source: https://fisher.osu.edu/blogs/leadreadtoday/blog/new-years-resolution-accountability It’s true! Accountability is often the missing ingredient in goal setting. It’s like accidently leaving out the baking soda in your favorite cake recipe. It fails to rise. Your results are flat and disappointing. Rethinking Accountability When thinking more deeply about such things, I often find it helpful to consult the online dictionary. What is the meaning and origin of these words and concepts that we so commonly speak? Definitions (sources: Cambridge English Dictionary and good old Google) Goal Setting: the process of deciding what you want to achieve or what you want someone else to achieve over a particular period Accountable: the fact of being responsible for what you do and able to give a satisfactory reason for it, or the degree to which this happens. Accountability: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions Synonyms for Accountable: responsible, liable, answerable, obligated, indebted, amenable, obliged, beholden Antonyms for Accountable: irresponsible, exempt, immune, unaccountable, nonaccountable I am aware that the word Accountability (like the word Discipline) carries a negative connotation. It can feel punitive and harsh. We see these words appear often in the context of criminal justice or a political scandal. And while “lying is not a crime” you may (or may not) be held accountable for lying on your resume when running for let’s say, Congress. Being successful should not just be about avoiding accountability (aka, not getting caught). Accountability could and should be used more positivity and proactively. It is a desired attribute we should encourage and cultivate in ourselves, our team, and our families. Maybe we could even think about it as a habit? What can accountability do for you? I believe that accountability can be your superpower! It can turn an ordinary professional into a high achiever. It can be help you fend off the procrastination, excuses, and fear that have been slowing down your progress and postponing your goals. As Bob Proctor was fond of saying, “Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.” Most people have plenty of commitment, they are short on glue. Hence, no results. The hardest part about accountability is trying to do it all by yourself. You will need an accountability partner (or buddy) to help you in accessing this superpower. Don’t keep it a secret and don’t try to go it alone. ASK FOR HELP from someone you trust. Ask them to help hold you accountable for what you say is important in your life. I like to think of accountability as insurance for my goals and success. What will this require of you? Like other forms of insurance, accountability comes with a premium and deductibles. Accountability will require you to do a few uncomfortable things at first, including: 1. trust someone 2. be vulnerable 3. embrace transparency 4. admit your failings and shortcomings 5. be honest with yourself 6. ask for help But the good news is that Accountability will become more natural and normal the more you do it. It is possible to make Accountability a good habit in your life. It’s good insurance to have – accountability will help protect your assets and your future success! More Accountability = More Success! To help myself and others in my network tap into the superpower of accountability, I have created a new program called Fearless Accountability . It’s a butt-kicking monthly virtual support group for aspiring fearless leaders who want to stay on track and build momentum in their careers and lives. Our motto is “More Accountability = More Success!” What is it all about? We meet the first Thursday of each month on Zoom for a 90-minutes to get clear and transparent about what we are each doing (or not doing so well) to move towards our stated goals. We use a proprietary Accountability Habit Tracker to increase awareness and practices that support our goal success. Every month, participants in the Fearless Accountability program identify and share with their monthly accountability buddy 3 action goals that they will complete during that month using the Action of Agreement tool. I have used this tool for years with clients who have taken my presentation skills training classes. Your leadership journey will require you to continuously set new goals and make investments to develop yourself. We also use a proprietary Habit Tracker to make sure you have the awareness and best practices to support your development and success. Free Helpful Tool As my New Year’s gift to you, please DOWNLOAD the tool and use it! Tool – Agreement of Action for Accountable Leaders If you are serious about reaching your goals and building momentum in your career and life, then I invite you to join the Fearless Accountability group. Space is limited to 20 participants. Next team meeting is January 5, 2023 from 11am-12:30pm EST.It’s affordable and it’s fun! (really!) We have room for a few more people. How about you? Enroll at www.FearlessAccountability.com Accountability is calling to you. It needs you. And we’re here to pick up that call and help you MOVE FORWARD in the direction of your goals and dreams. Let’s make 2023 a year we can all be proud of!
A picture of a habit tracker
By Kathy McAfee December 22, 2022
December can be a challenging month. We make the assumption that business leaders are very busy and unavailable with quarterly and annual year end business push. Like us, we know that working professionals are consumed not only with their demanding jobs, but with the holiday season. We make the false assumption that they are not open to hearing from us. We don’t want to burden them. So, we don’t call. We don’t reach out. We go quiet. And we let an entire month slip by. It’s a bad decision and one that will cost you time, momentum, and opportunity. It’s time to make those Courage Calls! I’ve made more than my fair share of courage calls and they have paid of big time. Not only in winning new business (yes, getting YES’s during the crazy month of December), but also winning respect and faith in myself and my abilities. Does that sound like something you’d like to do? If so, you should consider joining my new program, Fearless Accountability . It’s a butt-kicking support group for fearless leaders (and aspiring fearless leaders) who want to STAY on track. We meet virtually on the first Thursday of every month to help hold each other accountable to our commitments and goals. We don’t allow each other to wiggle out of things with excuses or fear or avoidance. We don’t try to impress each other. We practice shame-free tough love and support. We even have a digital habit tracker to ensure we are practicing the behaviors and mindset that leads to success. Our motto is: “More Accountability = More Success.” We believe that accountability and success are intertwined. You can’t have one without the other.  Find out more at www.FearlessAccountabilty.com Here’s to building greater MOMENTUM in 2023, making those courage calls, and following through on the actions that will lead us to achieving our goals and fulfilling our potential!
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